Sociedad ciudad_calle_MUJIMA20100402_0018_38

Publicado en Martes 8 octubre, 2013 | por Ale Vergara

140

El “menos mal”

La policía nunca llegó. Llamamos: del número de un amigo, del de otro, del de uno más. Y la policía nunca llegó. Los que sí llegaron, antes de que llamáramos a la policía, antes de que siquiera supiera que tendría que hacerlo, fueron dos tipos, corriendo detrás de mí, que me tomaron por detrás, me sentaron, con fuerza en la banqueta, me taparon la boca y me pidieron que no gritara. Grité con toda mi fuerza, mordí fuerte —lo más que pude: todavía siento en la mandíbula la resistencia de la carne— esa mano que se apelmazaba contra mi boca. “Tranquila, tranquila: no te va a pasar nada”,  decía la otra voz, nerviosa, inexperta. Sentí entonces el tirón y los vi alejarse, corriendo con mi bolsa. Puede ser que uno de ellos vistiera una sudadera roja (digo “puede ser” porque no estoy segura, porque puede ser, también, una  imagen que construí después, temblando, de regreso y rodeada de amigos en la casa de la que salí  —y a la que regresé corriendo, sofocándome— rumbo a la mía).

Era de noche, sí. No eran horas, sí. Una muchacha no debe andar sola a oscuras —mñé—, sí —va, juega: lo concedo si es necesario— : eso no debió pasar.

Pasé varios meses haciendo todo un trámite, engorroso y burocrático, para, finalmente, conseguir mi cédula profesional. Porque, por lo menos aquí—hay que saberlo—, es una cosa complicadísima conseguir un trabajo estable y medianamente bien pagado si no se ha hecho dicho trámite, no importa lo capaz que uno sea. Tengo que volver a hacer, si no el mismo trámite, sí uno igual de engorroso para conseguirla de nuevo: venía en mi bolsa, junto con mi IFE, mi licencia, una foto de mi abuelo (que contenía una de las poquísimas muestras de su caligrafía, dedicada a mí, que tenía), un autógrafo de algún rockstarcillo que admiraba de adolescente, dos tarjetas: una de crédito y otra de débito, un montón de puntos que guardé —celosamente— para comprar en una librería, un boleto usado de un viaje en tren que significó mucho, una moneda extranjera que usaba para echar volados, la credencial que debo pasar —puntual— en mi trabajo y demás tipo de fetiches que uno guarda ya sea por practicidad o por cursilería.

Cuando llegué, con toda mi vulnerabilidad desbordándose evidenciada en el jadeo, en los movimientos erráticos y contundentes, a la casa de mi amigo, de la cual recién salía cuando pasó aquello, me recibieron caras de angustia, palmadas en la espalda, besos paternales en la cabeza, en la frente. Y, sobre todo, la frase repetida: “bueno, menos mal que sólo se llevaron cosas, que no te hicieron nada”, sin hablar nunca de qué es ese nada que no me hicieron, porque ese nada implica todo aquello que es demasiado horrible como para enunciarlo: no, no me golpearon, ni me hirieron, ni me violaron, ni me subieron a una camioneta para tenerme dando vueltas, secuestrada, por unas horas; ni me desaparecieron para luego aparecer mi cuerpo, con huellas de tortura, en medio de una carretera. Menos mal que no me hicieron nada. Menos mal que sólo me inmovilizaron y me arrancaron la bolsa que llevaba cruzada sobre el torso: ¡qué alivio!

Alguna vez, en un viaje fuera del país (el lugar en el que ocurrió no es importante: no caigamos en ese lugar común de hablar de los suecos tan cabales, de los finlandeses tan decentes, de los intachables noruegos. Diré sólo que fue en otro país latinoamericano), se me ocurrió preguntar a la gente cómo era la cuestión de la inseguridad ahí. La respuesta me enterneció: “en los últimos años ha ido empeorando: si dejas tus cosas solas, si olvidas la bolsa, la cartera, cuando vuelves ya no están”. Fue una pregunta que hice varias veces y que varias veces recibió una respuesta similar. Lo comentaban con vergüenza, con preocupación, lamentándose. Era algo que les preocupaba porque no les parecía cotidiano.

¿Y acá?, ¿qué nos parece cotidiano?, justamente ese nada que menos mal no me hicieron. Acá hay secuestrados, decapitados, fosas clandestinas donde yacen, cuerpo sobre cuerpo, personas que no pudieron ser identificadas. Acá hay redes de trata de personas y desaparecidos todos los días. Acá hay feminicidios tan constantes y tan brutales que no falta quien (contagiado de una manera extraña de esa violencia, normalizándola) aplauda y celebre la decisión de una mujer de dedicarse a matar choferes de autobús por las noches. Acá hay brutalidad policiaca: macanas y cascos que golpean sin importar el quién, balas de goma. También balas de verdad.  Normal, ¿no? Cosa de todos los días.

“Ten más cuidado”, “cuídate”, “no andes sola”, me sugieren con la mejor de las intenciones. En realidad, lo que subyace ahí es un “preocúpate”, “desconfía”, “ten más miedo”. No quiero tener miedo. Pocas sensaciones tan repulsivas, tan insoportables, tan agotadoras, como el miedo. Y sí, en efecto, en adelante, aunque no quiera, tendré más miedo. Miedo al caminar por la calle, al entrar a un banco, al hablar con un policía, al ver a un par de muchachos que caminan en mi dirección por la misma banqueta que yo. “Precaución”, tendré que llamarlo para ver si nombrándolo así se siente menos, pero no será más que un miedo penetrante e invasivo que me haga mirar por arriba del hombro de manera constante.

Corrí con suerte. Lo que me pasó es un mal menor, algo que, pues sí, da miedo y asusta y encabrona, pero que no es una cosa grave. Lo que me pasó es un menos mal. Me inmovilizaron en la calle, me taparon la boca, forcejearon conmigo, me arrancaron la bolsa, me robaron mis identificaciones, algo de dinero y cositas sin valor que me recordaban momentos de mi vida, personas; llamé a la policía que nunca llegó (no sólo no llegó sino que no contestó el teléfono), me quedé sin saldo tratando de llamar a bancos (esos otros asaltantes, más perversos y más visibles: las empresas de telefonía celular y los bancos), pero, dentro de todo, menos mal, corrí con suerte.  ¿Corrí con suerte?, ¿realmente eso es correr con suerte para nosotros?, ¿eso es nuestro menos mal? No caigamos en ese error: no porque ocurran cosas peores, no porque sean muchísimas las personas a las que les ha pasado algo como esto, deja de ser un asunto grave. No normalicemos la violencia, la inseguridad en la que vivimos. No cedamos en ello. No hay que conformarse con los menos mal: no por serlo menos dejan de ser males.

Que esto sea un menos mal habla del estado de nuestra sociedad. Habla de lo que es normal en este país. Lo que es cotidiano y vemos todos los días. Habla de nuestro grado de tolerancia, de acostumbramiento a una violencia constante que se ejerce de los más diversos modos. Y cuando hablo de violencia no hablo únicamente de atracos, de asesinatos y noticias de nota roja, cuando hablo de violencia, hablo también de lo que hay detrás, de los mecanismos que, de un modo u otro, articulan y generan dicha violencia: la altísima tasa de desempleo en el país, el encarecimiento acelerado de la vida, la negligencia de las autoridades, la bien merecida mala fama de las instituciones, la deficiencia del sistema educativo y un largo, larguísimo, etcétera. Por donde uno mire encuentra fracturas. Todo eso que, a fuerza de ver repetido en el día a día, consideramos ya un hecho normal, cosas que pasan en este país. Esta violencia y su normalización da rabia y da tristeza. Pero, en fin, tranquilos todos, esto podría ser peor: podríamos vivir en estado de sitio, podríamos estar en una dictadura, podríamos vivir en medio de una guerra civil: menos mal. ¡Qué buena suerte la nuestra!

 
 

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Acerca del Autor

Soy licenciada en Literatura y maestra en Teoría y Crítica literaria, también soy insomne. Nunca estoy hablando en serio; ni siquiera cuando hablo en serio. Me gusta mucho hacerle a la edición, pero me gusta más andarle haciendo al cuento.



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  1. CintaCanela says:

    Justo me acaban de asaltar. Perdí todo un proyecto de semestre, aproximadamente seis años de juegos avanzados, un trabajo que iba a cobrar, credenciales, tarjetas, las llaves de las que no hay duplicado en el trabajo y un largo etcétera. Sobretodo la tranquilidad, porque fue a la entrada de mi casa. Me sentí ofendido cuando me dijeron que “así es México”. Como asumiendo un telurismo irrevocable, como si no tuviera qué ver con uno, como si hacer de México tercera persona nos librara de toda culpa en lo que se convierte.

    Pero como yo creo en el suicidio por policía, yo voy a empezar a ir armado. Con nada ilegal, no quiero que a mi muerte ellos tengan más poder en caso de fallar.

    Y a leerla más, oiga. Abrazo de grupo de apoyo de los bonitos.

  2. Agustín Fest says:

    Qué culero. A mí también me pasó. Dura un rato, duele. Y pues un abrazo.

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